Judging the Sand Down in Lorne

I’m loving being part of a club. In fact, I haven’t been part of a ‘club’ since my school days, which is…let’s see, almost a decade ago now? And even then, things get a lot less fun in the later years with work and study, so I think the last club I was part of was the Poetry Society. Fun while it lasted, but the president was a total autocrat who hated limericks, and I LOVE limericks.

Now I have a new hobby in Beach Critiquing, and I was surprised to find out that it’s a thriving field. Not only does every new member get a hotel booking for Lorne, so they can go on their first assignment, but we also get a free bucket and spade so we can make a sandcastle. That lets us test the sandcastle competition potential of each individual beach, so you see.

I’ve never been to Lorne before, least of all to try to write a detailed critique of its beach, but I won’t let the club down. Of course, there are a lot of beaches, and I’m mostly just focusing on the ones that haven’t already been ranked. Did my first this morning, all very nice, close to the hotel…sand quality wasn’t great, though. I don’t want to come across as harsh on my very first assignment, but I tried to build a very simple sand replica of the Taj Mahal and there was just too much gravelly residue to make the towers. It gets a high mark for being peaceful, despite the fact that it was a short walk from the hotel. Maybe because everyone is at another beach where you can make all the famous landmarks your heart desires because of the great quality sand.

The important thing is that I had a lot of fun, and I got an excuse to go on holiday. I’m still a Shoreline Acolyte at this stage, but if the elders think my beach rankings are good, I’ll progress through the ranks. I hear that that’s when you get the best hotels in Lorne, or so I’ve heard. I bet they’re practically sitting on the beach, and the sand is like walking on unusually-bitty velvet.


Posted in Accommodation