Just Chewing Leaves

Gee, I wish I could learn the art of being a koala and not caring about anything. Just picture me sitting in a tree, chewing on Eucalyptus leaves, having a grand old time, not worrying about rainstorms or even forest fires. Just being a koala, having a smooth brain that can’t comprehend the big questions in life, and loving every second of it.

Except I’m not a koala. I’m stuck with this human brain that worries about everything, even more than regular humans. This stupid human brain is currently wondering how we’re going to get this commercial steamer into the kitchen, because someone forgot to measure it before we ordered and we’re having measurement problems with both getting it in the door AND fitting it into our kitchen space. Our grand opening is tomorrow, the manu isn’t even finished, I have people sending me emails about gluten-free options and so you’ll understand why being a koala is starting to look so good as an option, you know? Koalas don’t need commercial steamers; I saw it on that documentary. They just chew eucalyptus leaves all day, even though you’re not supposed to be able to eat them. Practically no nutrition, but koalas don’t care. They just chew them all day anyway. So while my signature dishes wouldn’t impress a restaurant full of koalas, I wouldn’t have to cook anything either. Could just serve up a whole bunch of leaves on plates. Except they’ve done research, and koalas don’t recognise leaves on plates, so it’d have to be on branches…except koalas wouldn’t come to a restaurant when all their food just grows naturally outside.

Maybe struggling in with a commercial stove that doesn’t really fit isn’t so bad. I DO actually want to cook food, not just serve leaves. It’s why I started this business venture in the first place.


Posted in Kitchen