Cosmetic Treatments, Yay or Nay?

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No one said the life of an activist would be easy, but I am one of the blessed few to take up that burden. People in internet comment sections are wrong about 96% of the time; did you know that? The ignorant masses, going about their day and demanding such things as FACTS, when feeling are of equal importance. That’s because they’re things we feel. It falls to tireless folks such as myself to gently jump into debates mid-way, immediately showing our aggression to establish dominance and then proceeding to shout them down with any means necessary until they realise how wrong they are.

Ugh…I’m such a good person.

Now for today’s debate: cats.

No, wait. Laser hair removal. Ballarat has more and more places popping up, and everyone seems to want to get their hair lasered off. I love it, personally. See, even though I believe traditional standards of beauty are totally wrong and mankind has been getting it wrong for centuries and everyone should just look however they like and no one can judge anyone else and telling people that they should change anything about themselves is tantamount to murder…laser hair removal is great. Because I want it! And if I want it, then it’s fine. You should be able to do whatever you want. Still, there are some IDIOTS online who think that modern beauty treatments should be taken off the market, because they promote unhealthy standards and don’t give people equality of opportunity to be beautiful. And even though my activist career has always made me totally sure of what I’m fighting for, this time I’m a bit stumped. Should eyebrow tattooing and laser hair removal and anti wrinkle treatments be available to all? Or do they make an uneven playing field, because not everyone can get them, and anything that’s different is BAD? I need to know pronto, because I have a free slot on Saturday and a need to know if I’m getting dermal fillers in Bendigo, or standing outside one with a picket sign. Decisions, decisions…

-Patrika

Posted in Beauty

Can’t Wait to Hammer Those Nails

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Jumping from renting to buying is very slightly daunting. I don’t mind admitting that much! I’ve had such a lovely experience with my three rental houses, as well! In the first, I lived with my sister. We were both very busy, so we never got in each other’s ways. And yet, we still found time for fun stuff; movie nights, and the like. Then I moved in with some friends, and a family friend owned the place so he was super chilled about rent. And then after that it was just me. No unwashed dishes, no clothes left on the floor, bathroom all to myself…it was great.

Fortunately I’m in a better financial position than most to be doing this kind of thing. I’ve actually been looking for a Melbourne buyers advocate to walk me through the process, because I’m flying solo here and I don’t want to do the wrong thing. This isn’t like a rental, where you can move in and be out in a year (or six months!) without a fuss. Well…there are still a lot of forms to sign. Last time I had to sign every single page of a 27-page document, which took me a good ten minutes. Ten awkward minutes of sitting in silence, signing the same thing. The estate agents must be used to it, though.

So I’m guessing if I go and buy a home, I can expect a lot more of the same. Maybe it’ll be a fifty page document…but maybe not, because all of the house will be mine. No clauses about not replacing light bulbs or asking permission for bringing pets into the house, or hammering nails into the wall. My buyers advocate will find me a place, I’ll look over it, it’ll be wonderful and then I can hammer in as many nails as I like. Hang as many pictures as I please.

At least, I think that’s how property advocates in Melbourne work…I’m about to do my research on the matter. And a LOT of other matters.

-Penny

 

Posted in Housing

Virtual Pest Control, and Family Woes

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If I was going to get square eyes, then I’d already have them, because I spent way too much time looking at screens. But that’s the thing when you’re trying to raise a family full of Arts. That’s short for ‘Artificials’, by the way…it’s a game where you can order the lives of a family of computer-generated people. Most of my friends just stick their Arts in a pool then delete the ladder so they can watch them die, but I take things much more seriously.

I’ve been tending to the lives of my virtual family for six years now, and things are going great. Juniper just got a promotion at her job, so she now oversees all the pest control in Mornington. That is…the virtual Mornington. I’ve been able to name the neighbourhoods, so I’ve basically just turned it into a virtual version of where I live, pest control agents and all. Juniper has a habit of getting stressed, so I’m worried that this much responsibility is going to be too much for her. There’s also the issue of Greg, who lost his job last week. Not only is his wife doing so much better than him, but he has it firmly in his head that he doesn’t want a termite inspection job, because he thinks working with family only leads to disaster. So his emotional state is pretty poor, and the fact that Jordan is failing pretty much everything at school is stressing EVERYONE out.

I’d really like Greg to swallow his pride and take a job doing termite inspections in Mornington, if only for a little while, but I don’t know if I’m able to convince him. At least I was able to afford the talking toilet with my in-game currency. It’s really become a pillar of emotional support for the whole family.

Posted in Pests

Distracted by the beautiful garden

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You have to believe me, I didn’t know what had happened until we left the house. I know you won’t believe me but it really is the truth. As soon as we left I asked Jimmy where you had all gone last night and he told me about the garden and the jacuzzi and it just didn’t seem right. Anyway, obviously if I had known earlier I would have intervened. I was just so distracted by the hostas, the flower arrangements in general were really consuming my attention because I wanted it to be perfect for you. The only thing I was thinking was lillies vs. roses, ornamental trees vs. native shrubs; my mind was completely distracted. It sounds like an excuse but it isn’t, I am just trying to paint the picture of the weekend so you can maybe see how I might have missed what was going on. As Jimmy was telling me about what happened I realised that while you were arguing I was busy watering the hosta blazing saddles on the other side of the marquee. I didn’t hear any of it, the hostas were way over and the irrigation was on because I was trying to get more moisture into the lillies so it was really loud. 

Regardless of where I was or more importantly where I wasn’t, I am really sorry for how it all worked out. I should have picked up on it sooner and now it is too late. Please call me and we can talk through all of this. I have some really really beautiful pictures of the plants and flowers that I think you would enjoy and I would love to show you. I will be ordering some more hostas online and some other summer flowering bulbs to go along with the next event and I am going to do everything in my power to make sure you are there. Please don’t let this be the last time we correspond.

Posted in gardens